{Food for Thought} Friday :: Reclaiming Your Awesome

by Nutrition Fruition on February 3, 2012

{Food for Thought}

Fridays.  intellectual nourishment.  something to chew on.  Fuel.

Reclaiming Your Awesome

 

Remember when I said I was “reclaiming my awesome” this year, rather than writing and re-writing resolutions?  Well, I am.  I really, really am.  Here is a post I wrote on my other blog, Sofia’s Ideas

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I’ve learned that journaling is instrumental for my mental health.  I’m not always able to work through my initial reactions and emotions by the process of thought alone.  There are times when I say “I can’t physically calm down!” and it certainly resembles an anxiety attack.

But what I’ve learned is that the writing process, the physical movement of hand, pen, paper, pauses

is therapeutic in itself…

let alone the unfolding of thoughts in a natural, steady pace

that always eventually brings me to a better place…

even if it isn’t until fifteen pages deep.

Typing, blogging, talking… its just not the same, its not enough, not for me.

I’m a writer, I write.

Writing brings me from chaos to calm, from panic to persistence, from angry to apathetic to anxious to anticipating whats to come. 

Writing takes me from frustration to formulation, from confusion to compassion, from hate to heal.

Writing takes me from from ocd to optimistic, from sad to strong, from defeat to defiance.

And its because of writing that I went from giving up, to not giving a shit, to giving it my all.  It reminded me of the fundamental truth that I can not control or change anyone or anything but myself.  It all begins with me, then us, then our family.  And I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that it would alleviate so much stress if I would stop skipping over the “me” part.

I made a decision that I am reclaiming my “awesome” in 2012.  This year is all about waking up every single day feeling full of awesome!  I have to begin with me.  I have to invest in Sofia.  Nothing is more important than cultivating the “self”.  I have to fill up my own tank, before I can give of myself, otherwise all my husband and children will have is me – on empty.  I have to put on my own oxygen mask; how can I save them if I’m gasping for air myself?

And that’s where I’ve been – running on empty and trying to just have enough to make it to the next destination, the next day.  I’ve been suffocating, yet wondering why I can’t breathe life into my marriage.  I’ve been lost, trying to map out the way for my children.

So, for the last two weeks, I’ve been writing again.  Just me and my cup of black tea.  No intention, no premeditation, no forethought… just my pure, unadulterated truth.   And when I’ve said all I needed to say, written all that I’ve felt moved to write, I end it with “Today is a new day filled with infinite possibilities…

It centers me, it steadies me, it readies me for the day ahead.  Its how I fill myself up.  Its how I’ve been reclaiming my “awesome”.

Typing, blogging, talking… its just not the same, its not enough, not for me.

I’m a writer, I write.

♥♥♥♥♥

But what about you?  What’s your thang? … How are you Reclaiming Your Awesome?

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