next season will be different

by Nutrition Fruition on June 2, 2014

Today marked the end of season 2014 of our csa with Swank Farms.  We didn’t make it to their traditional “Pick Your Own” today, but I thought I’d repost this in honor of…

{Written July 2, 2011}

I watch as the excitement grows.  All over the world, bloggers are writing about…

 

what experiences they are yearning,

what they look forward to learning.

What they know they will be buying,

what foods they think they may be trying.

The air is alive with anticipation.

Their season has just begun.

 

But for us, here in Palm Beach, Florida, the temperature rises.

The sidewalks sizzle,

the mosquitoes menace,

and the rains replenish.

Thus, the contemplative consumers can no longer congregate at our Farmer’s Markets…

for it is the end of our season.

I don’t understand it myself, but it seems as though I get a bit sad towards the end of our CSA season.  Even though there are weeks where it is actually stressful to get to the farm, time consuming to plan what meals we’ll be making with our bounty, and I end the week feeling guilt-ridden that I didn’t use up all the veggies before they withered… I still get sad when it’s over.

And then I tell myself that next year will be different.  We’ll somehow, for some reason, be in a different season in our life.  I won’t be pregnant, we won’t be working out the kinks in our attempt to educate our own children, we wont be harried with too many things on our calendar.  I always think that the end of one season will somehow make more room for the next.

I imagine that next year, we’ll be volunteering at the CSA once a week, learning the whos & whats & wheres & whys & hows of it all, preparing all that produce together as a family… slowly, mindfully, and present all the while.  I imagine that next season, will be THE season… the season where it all just sort of comes together and falls into place.

I crave a slow and simple life for myself and my children… the life that blogs like Soule Mama and Simple Mom dangle in front of me, taunting me with how easily and naturally it seems to comes to them… the life that I create in my mind, in those quiet moments that seem so few and far between… the life that I’ll be living, I tell myself, when I’m no longer Struggling for Simplicity.

But that ideal eludes me.  It’s like I can almost touch it, it’s within reach, but there’s just one more thing I have to do before I can slow down.  There’s just one more goal I need to achieve.  There’s just one more task I need to check off my list.  There’s just one more duck to be put in its perfect little place, in that perfect little row.

 

 

 

So while we were at Swank Farms today, indulging in their annual “Pick Your Own” to mark the close of season, I tried to let go of those attached sentiments.  I tried to let go of that guilt of allowing yet another year to pass with so many imperfections, unfulfilled expectations, and unachieved goals.  Instead, I tried to hold on to that optimism, that hope, that daydream that I continue to aspire to regardless of how many seasons (of life) have passed.  Instead, I tried to reassure myself that life unfolds exactly as it should.

And when we had harvested as much as we could realistically consume, we shook hands with Darren and Jodi Swank, said our good-byes and wished each other well “until next time”.  We loaded up our van with more varieties of lettuce and basil than I even knew existed.   And when we drove away, I chuckled to myself.  Because secretly, I was telling myself, that next season? next season will be different.

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